I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
