You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
