shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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