my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
There r osticjed everywhere
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
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