Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
