I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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