I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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