would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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