I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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