i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
