I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Randomize
