I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize