I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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