I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
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Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
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I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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