woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
