You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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