she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
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