And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
