Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
