i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I looked at my own cervix.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
