He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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