I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
