I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
