Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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