Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
