I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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