Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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