Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
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