3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
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