I faked an abortion last night.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Randomize
