I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
