Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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