Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
