you traded sex for a burrito?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
