I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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