batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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