so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
