Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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