I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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