You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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