I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
This is the high leading the old right now
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
