Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
