I need help removing her.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
