we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
