I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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