Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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