i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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