can we get nightvision for the apartment?
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
It was a blind-side dick pic.
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