Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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