for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
