I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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