Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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