Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
