i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize