found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I don't want my vagina anymore.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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