And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
my liver is dry heaving
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize