My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
