For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
