Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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