party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
