Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
