I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
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